Do You Think You Have Nothing To Give? Tough Times and Open Hearts

by Jeanette Golden
(Pottstown, PA, USA)

One thing I learned early in life was to pay it forward. Reading the new book "Awake... Life's Purpose" made me realize that the amazing feeling you get when you give without an agenda brings about a feeling inside that cannot be matched.

And it makes so much sense when I hear you can change the world one person at a time. For years, I have been involved in the ACS Relay for Life.

Our organization in a small town raised over a million dollars to combat cancer this past year. However, it was when we got involved one on one that we saw and felt the true humanity in what we do. I have always lived a relatively comfortable life until about 2 years ago.

I was blessed to be on the giving end. 2 years ago, my husband of 18 years was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I had battled a breast tumor and two ovarian tumors years before. However, a disabling back injury made it impossible for me to work.

I had worked hard for 25 years of my life and now my husband was ill and I disabled. 6 months after his diagnosis, he became violent and then left our three children and me. He then filed for divorce.

The American Dream was gone. To be in this position made me feel hopeless. I basically have nothing.

I am selling our family home because I cannot pay the mortgage or keep up with the many chores. I have no heating oil, they are threatening to turn off our electric I search for change in my house to buy food.

I cannot believe how so much has changed in just 2 years. I get 200 dollars a month in child support. The support of my family has helped me from going under until recently.

I feel terrible being on the receiving end of giving because I know they do not have much to give.

All they ask is when I get on my feet I pay it forward. It made me sad that I was no longer in a position to give.

Then Jaime came into our lives. He was a 16 year old friend of my daughter. Over time, I got to know him. He had lost his father to cancer 3 years earlier. His mother was in drug rehab. He had nothing and was living on the streets most nights.

He began to stay at our house off and on. Even though we had very little, he felt safe and loved. In September of this past year, I became his legal guardian.

He is a wonderful addition to our family. My twin 9 year old boys love him so much too. He has some physical problems and many emotional scars. But he is just so happy to be part of our family.

Here I was feeling like I had nothing and to him, we had everything. His dream... a loving family, he belonged... he mattered.

We struggle everyday. My disability prevents me from working and I am in constant pain. The medical bills are through the roof. We do not know where the mortgage payment is going to come from. We do not know when someone will buy the house. We know we will be moving to another state to be closer to my family. I am so frightened about what tomorrow will bring. However, all I need to do is look at Jaime's joy and peace at being part of our family and I realize that we are truly blessed.

I have begun to look at things differently. Whether you believe in fate, God or a higher power... I believe we are lead to situations where we can give back.

Just the other day, I was going to pick up Jaime from the skateboard park. When I arrived, the boys were frantically waving for me to come over.

One of the boys, a friend of Jaimes, was lying on the ground screaming. As I approached, I saw that his upper leg was completely broken. Around him stood 7-8 stunned teen boys. They had no idea what to do. I had competed a year of EMT training years before and kept my medical supplies in my trunk. Everything I had learned came back to me in an instant. I went to the ABCs; airway, breathing circulation. I was able to comfort him emotionally and get his breathing under control. Everything I asked of the boys, they did immediately. They seemed relieved that someone was helping their friend and that they could actually help.

The most distressing thing was that, because his femur was broken so badly, it was cutting off blood to his foot and lower leg. His foot was turning blue and cold.

I was able to slowly minimize the fracture by lengthening his leg, restoring blood flow to his foot. The paramedics say I helped save his foot.

As we placed him on the backboard and I released my hand that had supported his leg for the past 20 minutes, he grabbed my hand and said, "thank you, you are my angel." My heart skipped a beat.

While driving home, my son told me that another mother was picking up her son at the park when the accident happened. She asked if the boys had called 911 and then left. I just kept thinking what if this were my son. I would pray that, if anything, someone would at least hold his hand until help arrived.

I believe God lead me to the right place at the right time. This was not the first time something like this had happened.

My 92 year old neighbor had fallen down a set of concrete steps. Our homes are a fourth of a mile apart. I heard what sounded like an owl hooting. I soon realized someone was hurt. I got into my car and followed the sound. I found her lying on the ground with a broken hip.

Again, I was able to help a bit. To me it was nothing miraculous. To this day, she calls me her angel.

Just remember; when you think you have nothing to give, there is always something you can do to change the world one person at a time.

We are going through tough times in America today. If you feel you are not in the position to Give Big in the Big Give. Look around you. If you see a wounded spirit, think and then act.

Sometimes with a kind word or a simple gesture, you could be part of the Big Give in that person's life.

The world can change one person at a time. For now, times are tough and so much has changed. The three things that have not changed are the everlasting love I have for my children, the belief that I do have something to give and the hope I have that a miracle would happen and thing will turn around for my children and me.

Treasure the good times, thank God for all that is good and be grateful for your blessings
Just remember, when you think you have nothing, there is always something you can do to change the world one person at a time.

Blessings to all.